Today I ventured to the grocery store to stockpile baby food as though we were anmials hording for the winter. We also needed to gather some necessities for the July 4th weekend (beer, rubbers…ya know the typical picnic items). My 8 month old daughter decided to tag along for the trip in order to get in some peak people-watching.
So there we were, throwing items into the cart left and right and before I knew it we had reached the chip aisle. As I headed in a northernly direction an elderly woman passed right by and said “oh what a cute baby, I just have to see her face”. Now, I’ve come to learn that this is not an uncommon occurrence. My daughter has garnered her fairshare of oooo’s and ahhhh’s; especially from elderly women. I’m probably a little biased, but I think my baby is absolutely adorable, especially when she gives you the toothless grin, so I don’t mind the occasional gloat fest.
As the kind hearted person I am, I slowed my shopping spree and I gave this elderly women the 5 seconds of human interaction that she so desperately craved before heading back home to her 50 cats. Without prompting conversation she quickly blurted out “I’m going to be a great-grandma soon and I’m not too old to pick them up and toss them around”………let that settle for a minute before we proceed to analyze. My grandmother is still alive and I have had the pleasure of giving her great-grandchildren, however, there is not a bone in my body that would just allow her 80 year old frame to toss my fragile baby around.
With another smile we quietly ducked away from this elderly woman and continued on our shopping trip. That is until we met her again in the next aisle over. And then again in the next aisle. She spotted us as though we were prey and I saw her hasten her steps in order to get to us. Once again she said “oh what a cute baby, I just have to see her face”. (Ummmmm….you just saw her not more than 2 minutes ago). Though this time she added “I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture”. This is where things started to get creepy.
I quickly rolled my cart away and down TWO aisle’s to try and avoid the passing effect we seemed to be stuck in. I was able to make it all the way to the household cleaners before she suddenly appeared again; popping up from behind a display of brooms. Once again we received the standard greeting “oh what a cute baby, I just have to see her face”. And the even creepier “I wish I had a camera so I could take a picture.” Now, I’m not condoning taking pictures of random strangers; but Listen Lady, I’m almost wishing you had a camera so you COULD remember that you saw this baby and can stop stalking us. Again the proud mother smile and I took off like a bolt for the baby aisle.
I thought that this would be my saving grace. What elderly woman would need to take a hop, skip, and jump down the baby aisle. I rounded the corner and much to my disbelief she was not standing there waiting with her fangs drawn. Relived, I started to dump plastic Gerber containers into the shopping cart. Fruit, Veggie, oh…I need this fruit. I thought we were finally in the clear until out of the corner of my eye, I saw her. She proceeded to walk by the end of the aisle, stop her cart, purposefully turn around, and come towards us. FOR THE LOVE.
Picture taking desire
Creepiness factor of 100.
One time is ok, two is starting to push it, but 5 times!!!!! Listen Lady, I think you might need another cat. Please stop stalking us. We finished our shopping trip ratherly quickly after this and did not linger any longer than 5 milliseconds when picking out the remainder of our items. I watched to make sure we didn’t have a tail on us as we drove home.
I like how you used the phrase “slowed my shopping spree” because you are the world’s fastest grocery shopper!