Chill Out!

My laptop is starting to top out on the ancient side. It’s decided that it wants to throw in the white flag. I’m not overly shocked. I’ve had this behemoth since college and it served me well when I was diligently pounding out some ridiculous paper and listening to ill-gotten music. Back in the day, ipods and iphones were a thing of the future and our music was “borrowed” from limewire.

Nowadays, I would rather pull out a tooth than return to an educational setting and write a paper. Unfortunately, this means that my laptop has transformed from typewriter to photo-album/media library. The first time I plugged in my newly acquired iphone, my laptop decided to sputter and cough as though it has been smoking cigarettes at an incessant rate for the last 45 years.  It didn’t respond to a good beat down or the ever famous “Nintendo blow”.  (Anyone over 30 will not understand that reference).

For a temporary fix, we resorted to propping the laptop up on a 1 foot high metal stand. With the keyboard levitating at neck level, I often find it difficult to type (though it has solved the problem of overheating) so we needed a more permanent resolution. My husband started looking at cooling pads and was totally boring in his approach. Slim. Metal. Gray. BORING.

First, I beat him with the mouse (gently) and then I berated him. He should know me better than that. I don’t do simple and boring. I’m more of a “weird is cool” kinda girl. You should have seen the color of my last car. Google earth picked it up. Not kidding. You can see it. FROM SPACE.

Anyways. When I find an object I like, my response is “OOOOOOOOOOOOO.” This indicates my preference for it. That’s how he gauges the Christmas gifts he gives me. How may “OOOOOOOOO’s” can I get out of her?

Imagine my response when I saw this laptop accessory. 

I gave an extra long “OOOOOOOO” for this. But then, I started staring at this cooling pad and, to be honest, got a little freaked out. It’s a little creepy. I mean…the placement of the fans alone. Listen Lady, this furry little fellow could benefit from a bra. I doubt that an underwire will be comfy in artic weather. At the very least we need to put some fig leaves on these puppies!