Cardin is big time into arts and crafts lately. Say the word craft and she goes ape shit. And this is where mommy starts to fail, because mommy has very little in the creative arts department. I will be the first to admit that I cannot draw, paint, or sculpt anything. Even my shopping list is so horribly scribbled that only I can read it.
In attempt to busy her this past weekend, I pulled out all the stops and suggested we make some Valentine’s Day cards. That was all I had to say and she was at the table asking for the glue. Like a vulture to its prey. We started with some pop-up cards. And yes internet, I did Google instructions on how to make one. Even with the instructions, it still took TWO attempts for me to get the popup to work the right way.
The decoration of the cards took all of 10 minutes, not including the 40 minutes it took for me to cut the damn thing out, so Cardin was still on a glue high once she had finished. In a flash of pure brilliance, I remembered that I had emptied the last egg out of the carton that morning and the empty carcass was sitting on the counter.
Listen Lady, I may or may not have Googled egg carton crafts. Let’s just say that some of the intricate shit that people make out of recycled cardboard cartons is beyond my level of comprehension. You are not getting a medal for making sweet looking crafts with your kids. I sincerely hope that the craft gets ripped apart mere seconds after you place it into your toddler’s grimy paws.
I went for the easiest looking egg carton craft: the caterpillar. Simple, to the point, not much assembly involved. Glued some eyes on, shoved some colored popsicle sticks in for antenna, and gave Cardin the markers to color in the rest of the body.
She started out nicely, giving the caterpillar some dots on his body. Then I made the ultimate mistake. I started cleaning up some of the scrap pieces of paper and I took my eyes off the 2 year old with the marker. A minute later, I turned around to find a quarter of the table covered in blue marker and Cardin shading in her knuckles. Smurf like little fingers. FAIL.
She looked at me with n smile, as though nothing was amiss, and asked to pound. My guess is she thought the fist bump need a little extra pizzazz.