The Craft Bazaar

Cardin is hot for crafts; anything that involves glue or sticky tape she goes ape-shit for.  I give it my best attempt, but I’m not all that crafty. I think the gene may be recessive. Instead we color or marker because I’m HELLA good at staying in the lines!! Internet, I’d be valedictorian of coloring.

Luckily, my mom is far more crafty so Cardin can get her fill. She comes home with a goodie or two nearly every day. It’s always a special time for me when I get to open her Dora backpack and see what creative genius has befallen my mother today. I say this all in the nicest, most sarcastic way possible.

Exhibit 1 was a created as a birthday present for Uncle Tony. First, I’ll direct you to the mouth of the bunny. This ‘x’ like pattern is actually supposed to be the bunnies whiskers, but for some unknown reason, they are not attached to a mouth. I’m not so sure how the bunny will eat his carrot without an opening for food.

Next, I’d like to direct your attention to the bottom of the bunny. According to Cardin, the blue fuzz ball is a tail. In the anatomy lessons that I took, tails were on the backside of animals.  This looks distinctly like a single, blue testicle. Who am I to judge though.

Exhibit 2 was created as an Easter craft and by golly if there are not 100 things to point out about this beautiful creation. It has a Dolly Parton-esq to it; its really only missing the ginormous enhancements.

The bottom portion is a paper towel tube that was transformed into a dress. Then of course we have the lovely lace frill. At the top we have a plastic, purple Easter egg.  Listen Lady, my favorite part of this creation is the botox lips that were hot glued onto the egg. So much hot glue was used that the actual egg started to melt and now “Egg Lady” looks like she’s sporting a mustache. Classy.