Turtle Dicks

My good friend Bobby sent me this picture via text the other night at about 11:30 pm. I had just gotten into bed and did a double-take when the image flashed on my phone. I don’t think we’ll ever look at pickles the same way again.

Listen Lady this image is pretty disturbing…can you imagine? Don’t kid yourself ladies with that whole size don’t matter shit. Actually it holds special value to me. You see, Bobby is like my brother from another mother and we have known each other since Elementary school; when we got to star in that fabulous rendition of Charlie and the chocolate factory. I was, of course, an Ooompa Loompa…this may be where my fear of clowns started.

We grew even closer in high school and I would often go to his house where we would eat spaghetti and meatballs and then sprawl on his kitchen floor. After we’d digested the delicious meal we’d save the world using extreme sega genesis skills. TMNT was our favorite and we’d go head to head with the evil Shredder. . Don’t hate, it was one of the coolest arcade games ever made. Bebop and Rocksteady were no match for us.

In fact, the night I married Brett, Bobby actually gave me our worn out copy of the TMNT game. He told me it was now time to start saving the world with Brett. It was a gift I will never forget or give up; one that holds very special meaning to me.

Bobby lives in L.A. now, making great things happen in the movie world. I miss him, but I know that no matter how far we live things like Turtle Dicks will always be reminders of our friendship.