You could say I have a number of pet peeves that border on the side of OCD. I hate wet socks, soggy bread gives me the shivers, I don’t like clutter, a dirty bathroom makes me go ballistic, I’ll slow down if you tailgate me….the list goes on folks. One of the things I’m not real particular about though is wrapping presents. The quicker the better. I’m not one for straight creases, perfect folds, or the addition of bows and ribbons. I get the whole presentation thing, but really, nobody is judging you based on your wrapping ability; they are judging based on what’s inside the present and how much it suits them.
The other night, Brett “helped” me wrap Cardin’s presents after she had fallen asleep. I use the term “helped” loosely. I’m not going to mention that he managed to finish just two presents in the time I finished eight. I’ve actually never seen him wrap a present before and I’ve been enlightened to the difference in our level of OCD over wrapping.
He claims, like most men, that he’s not a good wrapper. This is untrue, in fact he’s an excellent wrapper. His downfall is found in the OCD he has. Unlike me, he could give a rat’s ass about the pile of clutter sitting on the computer desk or the layer of dust that has collected on the toilet tank. However, awkwardly wrapped presents will sound a fury in his brain.
Listen Lady, each cut must be perfectly straight and all the creases removed from the paper before taping. Any folds must be performed with laser like precision and the wrapping paper must adhere to the gift without any air pockets. Even the piece of tape must be a particular length. For the love of god just slap some tape down and call it a day. Once he has completed the wrapping, it’s at least a 2 minute process to adhere the gift tag marker in just the right location at just the right angle. If only I had this kind of time in my day.
I suppose our brains are wired to see certain details differently but hell….if he’s going to force me to watch him eat soggy bread, then I’m going to force him to view my quickly wrapped, albeit slightly deformed, presents.