Someone better step up and catch this baby

Here it is, the most anticipated blog of 2012. The one where I talk all about my lady parts and delivering Rory!! YAY!! Can you hardly contain yourself?!?!

I promise I’ll continue to use exclamation points to the max, especially to enunciate words like VAGINA!!! or PLACENTA!!!

Relax folks…there won’t be nearly enough gory talk to turn you away from child birth; at least not forever. My family does read this blog so it won’t be that graphic.

Originally, the plan was to check the maturity of Rory’s lungs on May 10th. As long as his lungs were deemed mature enough by medical standards, I was to be induced later that day. Naturally, that plan was foiled by my stubborn child who was residing on the low end of the spectrum of readiness.

So we waited….7 very long, HOT days. There was still an obvious risk that his lungs would not be mature enough and that he would be required to spend some time in the NICU. In fact, the high risk specialists at the hospital advised that I wait 2 more weeks to guarantee his lung maturity. My OB was not nearly as cautious and believed that the benefit to delivering was greater than the risk it would pose to Rory.

Normally, I’m cautious and skeptical around doctors; always seeking a second opinion. Not my OB; I trust her wholeheartedly. There is something genuine about the care that she provides that puts me at ease and makes me trust her. I’ll be forever grateful she was able to deliver both my children.

I was rescheduled for induction on May 17th and placed on the high risk unit. Putting me on this unit allowed me to be right next door to both the NICU and an operating room if a problem arose. Things seemed to flow too smoothly the morning of the 17th as we were admitted first thing, the elevator was waiting for us, and our room was cleaned.

And then it came time for the IV. Things went downhill fast. I hate IV’s. I’m not talking about just a little hatred either. I’m talking about Hitler sized hatred for these things. Nobody ever succeeds in getting these suckers in the first time because my veins collapse or they can’t find a good vein. I end up getting jabbed four or five times. I’ve learned to ask for the IV team when I go to the hospital because it is so bad. Except even the IV team had problems this time. Listen Lady, at one point in this whole scenario, I screamed out a four letter expletive at the nurse attempting to put in the IV because I was so frustrated. Brett was holding my hand and I heard him stiffle a laugh.

After multiple attempts, the IV finally landed and a short while later my OB came in and informed me that she wanted another IV line inserted “in case of emergencies”.

WTF MATE.

First, ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!

Second, it is not comforting that you believe I’m going to need this second IV line!!!!

Luckily, I was able to convince the anesthesiologists to put the IV line in while they were doing my epidural. They used lidocaine on the spot before they jabbed me and no urban slang was thrown from my mouth.

Once the epidural was running, the nurses turned up the pitocin to get my contractions cranking. They were pretty steady but I wasn’t feeling anything. We went about this pace for multiple hours. Cardin came up to visit for awhile, I rested while I could with the effects of the epidural, and we chatted with the nurses who came in and out to check my vitals. Around 6 pm, my parents decided to take Cardin to get something for dinner, and since I was still only 4 centimeters dilated, they planned to come back afterwards.

Around 7:30 pm I started to have a lot of pain in my right side and felt as though my my hip was on fire. The epidural appeared to no longer be working and so we called for the nurse. One of the residents on call came with the nurse and checked my progress. She casually mentioned to one of the other nurses in the room, “You’ll want to call her doctor now, she’s ready to push”.

EXCUSE ME….I was 4 cm an hour ago and suddenly I’m ready to have a baby?!?!?!?.

BRETT…DUDE…CALL MY PARENTS AND TELL THEM NOT TO LET CARDIN WALK IN ON THAT!!!

And then came a flurry of activity. Looking back, it seemed that all this activity should have spanned a good 30 minutes but in reality, only lasted a matter of about 3 minutes. Carts were brought in with medical supplies and dressing gowns for the doctors. Kits were opened containing medical instruments and gloves. The baby’s warmer was turned on his blankets were prepped. During all this setup, the nurse and Brett were coaching me to push.

It dawned on me in this 3 minute window that my OB was not actually present in the room yet, and that the resident was still setting up all the medical equipment while I was in process of pushing. Now, I’ve been through this labor process before so I’m pretty familiar with the need to have someone (ANYONE!!!!) be at the end of the bed, catcher’s mitt in hand, prepped to grab the baby. Not the case here. I went on pushing, while the resident continued her setup process. All the while I’m thinking “Someone better step up and catch this baby!!”

As luck would have it, my OB rushed into my room, superman costume on, just in time to deliver Rory and save the day. He was born at 7:33 pm and after a few good suctions we heard screams coming from his lungs. The NICU team came over and gave him the once over, but he passed with flying colors and had no issues with his lung maturity.