Two man wolf pack

The children are raging against the machine; the sleep machine. Listen lady, I’m confident that both Rory and Cardin have taken a blood oath to never let us sleep through the night again.

Truth.

They have tiny baby alarms in each of their beds and they are set to go off within 2 hours of each other. Mind you, they never wake at the same time; that would defeat the pact to overthrow the parental empire.

By alternating waking hours, they have been able to significantly cut into cumulative hours we sleep. This also allows enough time to settle one child with whatever basic necessity they need, get them comfortably back to sleep, and collapse back into our own bed just long enough to start drifting off before the other child rings their bell.

No kidding lady, Cardin woke me up the other night just so I could put socks on her feet. Would you like a silver spoon too, madam?

Don’t worry though lady, the evil parental empire is strong and resilient. Cardin provided us months of sleepless practice. Plus, I have one big gun that works every time. A long car ride. Bring it.