You would think that by the title of this blog, I’m going to punch out some serious shit about three landscaping projects, right? Well, you’d be wrong.
In fact I’m only telling you about one project that has taken us three years to complete. That’s right lady fans, I said years; which, ironically, was the perfect amount of procrastination for this project.
When we bought our abode, about seven years ago, it looked like an unkept teenager’s hairdo; what with all the unruly bushes that surrounded the house.
I’ll just get this out of the way now. There were 27 shrubs planted around our house; all of varying sizes and styles. Nonetheless, twenty-fucking-seven. We know this, because we dug each stump out by hand. With hackets, axes, and sledgehammers.
What is better, these shrubs, which were never maintained by the previous homeowner, are called “Yew” shrubs and can live for 1,000 years. As in “you have got to be freaking kidding me. These are like the mortal kombat of all shrubbery. Raiden wouldn’t even be able to get the stumps out using his finishing move”.
In the fall of 2010, we finally had removed the last of the stumps and we laid the brick border for the new landscape by hand. We filled in the hole with 5 yards of dirt and planned to let the dirt sit over the winter and settle some. Since it was so late in the fall, we didn’t have time to put new plants in and have them root before the frost would come.
Fast forward to spring of 2011 and true to plan, we planted all our new landscaping plants.
Listen lady, our intent was to finish up by putting on landscaping stone come the fall of 2011. The summer was brutally hot and I refuse to do physical labor in 95 degrees; it was stated in my marriage vows. However, by the time the cool weather had hit, I had a baby in my belly and record setting spleen stretching competition had begun.
Lets face it lady, 2012 was pretty much a bust. Between the pregnancy complications and the time I spent in and out of the hospital for surgery and recoup, there was no way any landscaping project was getting done unless I paid an illegal Mexican.
Which leads us to the fall of 2013. I vowed that 3 years was enough procrastination. Brett placed the order for a bulk delivery of stone and we got to work. It didn’t take nearly as long as we anticipated and we calculated the quantity of stone that we’d need perfectly this time around. Nailed it!