Mr. Brown

Listen lady, I have frequently blogged about Cardin’s incessant vomitting and sensitive gag reflexes. We feared any other child we brought into this world would surely have the same Olympic puking ability.

I won’t lie, the amount of puke I caught bare handed was directly proportional to the length of time we waited to have Rory. In fact, there was a short window where we even questioned having another one for the simple fact that we didn’t have enough hands to catch all the puke if two kids existed in our family dynamic. Needless to say, introducing another catalyst was a giant risk.

As it turns out, we struck gold. Rory doesn’t seem to have a puking problem (at least not yet). Instead, I’d like to introduce you to Mr. Brown

Rory has the opposite problem. He poops SOOOOOO much, that he explodes all over his clothes. We’re not talking a little blowout every once in awhile either. We are talking daily blowouts that cover him from his shoulder blades to his knee caps. Based on the quantity of formula and baby food that enters his system, the amount of poop that is expelled from his body is totally unnatural. It’s as though he is going through an adult colon cleansing every single day.

More poop comes out of the diaper than actually stays in and we are struggling to come up with unique ways to lift the onesie over Rory’s head without giving him a faceful. Eventually, it’s going to get so bad that I’m going to have to go all EMT style and just cut the clothes off this boy.

This has been going on for at least 2 weeks now and we have gone up a diaper size too. I’m considering wrapping him in plastic before the day is through.

Ménage a Trois

Turns out, I had three organs removed. Two spleens and a gallbladder. You read that correctly, TWO spleens. Listen lady, one gigantic spleen wasn’t enough, I needed an accessory spleen to go along with? Accessorizing is all the rage lately. We received the official pathology report which lists the size and weight of the spleen. […]

Recovery

My time spent in post-op marked the beginning of a long road to recovery; one I fear that will not be very speedy. I spent 5 days in the hospital and the first few days were dreadful. Because my gallbladder was removed, I left the operating room with an NG tube shoved down my throat […]

Surgery Day

The dreaded day had arrived. September 25; Surgery Day. I wasn’t so concerned about the actual surgery, sure, there were risks, but I was confident in the surgeon. My bigger concern was the recovery and my future health. You can certainly live without a spleen, but your chances for infection or fatal disease increase tenfold. […]

PICC Insertion

Late last week I met with the surgeons about going forward with the spleenectomy on Tuesday the 25. I was, at the time, still running a fever and feeling pretty shitty from both the return of my skin infection and also the plague that Cardin bestowed upon me after 2 days of preschool. The deal […]