Stranger Danger
Last night I was grilling up some chicken who-ha’s in the driveway and I noticed a strange elderly woman walking in the middle of the street. She seemed utterly confused and perplexed with her walk and kept weaving all over the road. (Keep in mind she was setting a world record pace of about 5 steps […]
How do you like your eggs ma’am?
My kid refuses to eat dinner lately. No idea why. She eats breakfast and lunch as if she were one of those poor little kids you see on the “save the children” infomercials. All the while the host reminds you that changing the channel is like saying no to these starving children. And I’m all…click […]
Grapes of Wrath
Yesterday, I went grocery shopping to stockpile baby food…cause my kid eats enough of the gerber baby food jars to fill a small pool. Seriously, I could swim in the amount of applesause and pears she eats. Though her mom could probably down an entire vineyard of grapes in a week. That is until the grapes […]
Speak only when spoken to
Listen Lady, my daughter has been trained well. I ain’t playin’ around here. She understands that she is not allowed to speak unless she has express written consent. We started teaching manners at the ripe age of 1 day old as she was mighty disrespectful in that whole, 18 hours of labor crap. The plan is for […]
Buttery Goodness
Listen Lady, the “N” writer had the day off.