Child Exploitation. Question Mark.
I’ve decided to market my blog in a never before used method; child exploitation. Relax, she’s not running drugs for me, she doesn’t even know about the special room in the basement where we grow “plants”. I can just see all of you… opening another tab on your Internet explorer window, looking up the number […]
Speak only when spoken to
Listen Lady, my daughter has been trained well. I ain’t playin’ around here. She understands that she is not allowed to speak unless she has express written consent. We started teaching manners at the ripe age of 1 day old as she was mighty disrespectful in that whole, 18 hours of labor crap. The plan is for […]
Here’s to marriage!
Last night we held a combined bachelor/bachelorette party for some good friends. We had planned to take a sunset cruise on Lake Ontario on a lovely catamaran dubbed, “Wild Hearts”. The name is so seductive, it makes you fall in love instantly; and then vomit a little. After the cruise the plan was to go […]
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
On our way through Canada this weekend we saw a lovely sign on the side of the highway. I always love these signs. I thought the Canadians were pretty clever with this PSA: “BE ALERT AND ARRIVE ALIVE!” It’s like its own tongue twister. Go ahead. Try to say it 5 times fast. Got ya, right? […]
At least give me spirit fingers
Yesterday, my husband and I spent time speaking with a lawyer. Relax…we are not pulling a Jon and Kate and filing for divorce through public scrutiny; though as a side note, I’m totally team Kate. We were being rational, responsible adults and drawing up our Last Will and Testament. Nothing boasts a good time like […]