Swaddle no more
The time has come to retire the swaddle folks. Here, use my tissue to wipe your tear.
It was inevitable. The days crept upon us, slowly at first and then all at once like a racehorse. We’d find a hand would wiggle free and then suddenly his whole leg exploded out. Rory seems to be speeding through milestones and last night he decided that he was done with the swaddle. Don’t get me wrong lady, I’m excited to see him grow, but part of me will miss this baby stage.
Being a second time parent is easier in this regard. We’ve got experience on our side and we know that the sleepless nights do end. It’s easier to appreciate the rough times when you know the giggles that lie ahead.
Immediately after removing the swaddle, Rory flipped over onto his stomach; superman style. Since he is back to wearing his helmet full time, he can rest his head, face down on the mattress. Listen lady, it looks like he just took a major face plant; but the helmet provides just enough leeway that he can still breath and mommy can have an anxiety attack over whether he is breathing.
Rolling with my homies!
It took 6 and a half months folks, but Rory has finally figured out how to roll over. He has been so close for so long; just never able to throw that last little bit of effort into. Listen Lady, he’s mobile and that means I can no longer put him in one spot and expect that he’ll be there when I return. UH OH!
httpv://youtu.be/0HwYod2Cobw
Mommy & Me Night
Last night I ventured into preschool with Cardin for Mommy & Me night. We got to do a craft, play with some toys, paint and enjoy some time in her classroom together.
Each student had made a surprise craft for their mom; a paper Christmas light that they had painted. Mine, of course, was blue with about 10,000 pounds of glitter.
On the back the kids each wrote one reason why they loved their mom. Cardin decided she loved mommy because I play bingo with her. Bingo and Zingo are all the rage at our house as of late and she beats me more often than not.
Some of the reasons were pretty stupendous. Take for instance, the boy who loves his mom “because she makes him food so he doesn’t starve” or the girl who loves mommy “because she blows the hot off her Mac and cheese”.
Listen lady, these are the moments that make it worthwhile. The ones where mommy gets a gleam in her eye because she knows how awesome her kids are. Made extra special knowing that I get to keep this memory, captured forever.
Valuable life lesson
Yesterday I received a perishable package that I had ordered as a present for someone. It came packaged in a giant styrofoam cooler with giant, red letters to “FREEZE CONTENTS IMMEDIATELY”.
Following said directions, I took the cooler to the basement and emptied the contents into the freezer. I promise it wasn’t a severed head or human kidney.
At the bottom of the cooler there appeared to be a large ice pack. Figuring, I’d keep this as well, I picked up the pack only to have it immediately start burning my fingertips. BLAZES!!!
Listen lady, I dropped what was clearly not an ice pack and noticed that the package around this incendiary device said “Dry Ice: DO NOT TOUCH WITH BARE HANDS”. Sure, let me get out the bear claws.
A better warning system should be in place for stupid people like me. Like putting a buffer pad around the block of dry ice. Some moron can’t invent the dry ice cozy! Million dollar idea people, million dollar idea.
Lesson learned. I’ll keep that in my pocket for the next 30 years.
Dirty thirty
I’ve been off the grid for so long. Perhaps part of me was subconsciously hoping that by avoiding the virtual world, I’d be able to avoid the reality of my impending birthday. Alas, it’s not true. The dirty thirty landed and brought along a slew of great new memories.
Take a knee and I’ll recap. As my grand shindig birthday gift, Brett bought me club box seats to the Buffalo Bills/Miami Dolphins game.
Looks like a marriage that will last, right? the confrontation keeps us going folks. It was a shitty game, and not just because the dolphins lost, because both offenses suck. Nevertheless, the kids stayed overnight with my parents and we enjoyed a heated suite with full buffet and open bar. Listen lady, what this translates to is “no pukey”.
To celebrate in full “Crazy McG” style, a group of my nearest and dearest took me to dinner this past weekend at the crab shack. And this happened…..
Let’s just say that I have yet to inform Brett that I may have crabs. Based on the number of people who have worn this outfit, I may actually HAVE crabs.
The shenanigans continued to some local establishments where we encountered these neti pot shot glasses. Amazing, right?
Listen lady, I used my iron fist to demand that we have lemon drops out of them. Since our bartender was a pushover this wasn’t a hard task.
The netti pot shot is particular in that you must take the shot from the long spout, unfortunately not all members of our party were privy to this information and instead just dumped the shot on their shirts. Cheers prom date!
We partied until the early morning and grabbed a slice of pizza on the way home. Who doesn’t love pizza and beer?
I left some epic voice mails for friends who were not able to join us. And for my 40th I’ve requested rin gtoss and a scratch off (which is the crappiest gift ever, but I was unmoved by all requests to change). All in all, a successful 30th birthday complete with friends and family. Here’s to another 30!!