On the schedule
This morning was the official meeting with the surgeon to get the declaration on whether or not we can proceed forward with surgery next Tuesday. It seemed to be the end all be all appointment we’ve been waiting for. Even my disability claim was waiting on on this appointment.
Rightfully so, the surgeon is my only blockade to healing right now. Since this surgery is all considered elective, that is, my spleen hasn’t ruptured so it’s not an immediate life threat, he is allowed to pick and choose when he operates. As such, he refuses to do so when conditions are not ideal; for example, I have an infection or my blood count is so low I need a transfusion.
Unfortunately for me, these both seem to be viable options right now. So….here is the deal. My name has been left on the surgical list for next tuesday, in the interim, if I continue to run a fever or I continue with a persistent cough that could be an upper respiratory infection then I’m being yanked. I need to call the office on Monday and update them to my condition.
Listen lady, the weekend will be my determinatior. I’ll be partaking in every humidifier, Nettie pot, and gallon of orange juice I can get my hands on.
In the meantime, think positive healing thoughts!!
Mini me
I came to the conclusion this weekend that Cardin is a miniature version of myself. There are numerous reasons we are so similar in nature. Here are just a few….
1) We both stare blankly into space and our eyes glaze over. Brett calls this our zone face. It’s an important defense mechanism that allows us to encourage our others senses to take over.
2) We both love to people watch. This is exceptionally more fun with Cardin because she is only 3 and we can get away with WAY more socially unacceptable phrases. For example,
“that man’s head is flat” or “that boy has a booger hanging out his nose”.
3) We both fart in exactly the same way. Not only in sound and smell, but we have the exact same body movement during the actual act!
4) We both get sick constantly while attending school. Cardin attended 2 days of preschool and already was running a fever and fighting a head cold. This was exactly how I was during my school years. I was like a vacuum for germs and it seems as though my oldest child has joined me on that front as well.
Listen lady, I’m a wealth of information. Look at all that I have to offer. Just imagine how things will be once Rory starts being a little more active. There will be multiple copies of my ridiculousness running around!!! Muhahahahaha.
Preschool
Cardin started preschool today. The statement itself is so powerful to me, it alone can trigger a minor anxiety attack. How am I old enough to have a kid in school?? Didn’t we just bring her home from the hospital?
I realize she’s turning four in November and she very well could have gone last year, but there is a part of me that still see’s the baby bundle I brought home from the hospital.
In the months leading up to this change we prepared her with visits to the school, many talks about her new days, and her own book bag and new sneakers. She woke this morning, very excited to start this next chapter in her life.
I was fearful of this transition for her, though i was very careful never to express my concerns to her She has been through so much change this year already. With the pregnancy, the arrival of Rory, and now my hospitalization and surgery. Add to this the idea that she has never stayed with a stranger, outside of a family member. This is the first time we’ll be entrusting her safety to another person that is not blood related.
To say I was apprehensive was putting it mildly.
She was dressed to the nines in her hello kitty outfit; donning a full set of pink nails. She had on her light up princess sneakers and her Minnie mouse back pack. By 8 am she was asking if it was time to go and mommy didn’t even have a bra on yet!
We arrived at preschool in time to take the obligatory “first day of preschool pictures”. As we crossed the threshold, her tiny fingers slipped into my hand and I gave her a reassuring squeeze as I felt the lump start in the back of my throat. We hung her coat and put away her back pack.
Listen lady, I knelt down and hugged my baby; fighting back a deluge of tears. I kissed her, told her I loved her, and promised I’d be back to pick her up before she knew it. Before my emotions could get the better of me, I stood up and passed the hug onto Brett.
With some hesitation, Cardin took the teachers hand and went into the classroom to play and I watched my baby transform into a little kid. I contained the swell of tears until we had left the building. As much as I wanted to spend the hour sitting in the parking lot or peeping into the classroom windows, I forced myself to drive away.
The next hour ticked by at a snails pace. Since this was the first class, the kids were being split up and only attending for an hour, instead of the normal 2.5 hours; to help with the transition.
When it was finally time to return to preschool, I couldn’t wait to grab her in my arms and ask her 1000 questions. And it’d only been an hour!!!!
She ran right for me with the biggest of hugs and spent the remainder of the day making sure I was at least within earshot if not within sight.
I’ve no doubt she’ll do awesome. I’m sure it will take a couple weeks to get used to the new schedule, but I can’t wait to watch her grow over this next year.
Transfusion Confusion
One of the things I hate the most about being at the hospital is the need for an IV. To say I am a hard stick is putting it lightly. You see Lady, my veins are like that obnoxious little kid everybody knows who really needs to be on Ritalin, but isn’t; hypersensitive and prone to blow.
When I was re-admitted to the hospital on Friday, I got an extra IV; just in case. In case of what??? In case of freezing temps, an earthquake, Lindsay Lohan has another run-in with the law? With two IV’s, my right arm was rendered useless for any future blood draws.
My left arm had already taken a good beating from the prior 4 day hospitalization, so there were few veins that were not bruised and could actually be brought to the surface. It was not helping that blood draws we’re taking place every 8 hours; 24 hours a day.
By Sunday I was so mentally tired & stressed that I requested a PICC line from the attending doctor. She agreed, especially since I was likely to need a transfusion and be at the hospital through the scheduled surgery date.
The PICC has done wonders and I’m beyond pleased I requested it. It has made the constant blood draws so much more bearable.
On Monday night, my hematocrit level started to drop to a dangerous level and I began to feel symptomatic; nauseous, lightheadedness, very lethargic. I was encouraged to get a blood transfusion or chance the possibility of damage to my other organs since enough oxygen was not being circulated in my bloodstream.
Even though my brother and I have always had spherocytosis, we’ve never required a blood transfusion. Listen lady, it’s a scary choice to be faced with. The wrong decision could have serious complications or fatalities. All I knew, at that moment, was that maybe I should have hugged Cardin and Rory a few extra minutes; given them a few more kisses that night when they left.
I agreed to the transfusion and Brett held my hand as the blood flowed down the IV tubing; both of us unsure of how my spleen was going to react. At 10pm, the nurse came in and told him that for security purposes he needed to leave the wing.
He knew I was scared out of my wits and I wanted him there. Normally, I am his rock, but our roles have become so reversed the past couple of weeks. He agreed to leave the wing but only as far as the lobby. Where he spent the night dozing in a chair; ready to run back to my room on a moments notice if I texted him.
He spent all night out there and I texted him first thing in the morning to come back to my room when doctors started arriving and discussing the results of the transfusion and my future at the hospital.
The transfusion ran well, no unexpected symptoms or splenic reactions. Unfortunately, the transfusion did not increase my hematocrit level as the doctors had anticipated. Typically, with each bag of blood, the expected outcome is that the hematocrit will raise by 3 points. Mine went from 19 to 20. FAIL.
Immediately, the doctors began rushing me to take another bag of blood, but I was feeling much better and I refused the additional transfusions until I spoke to hematology and could get some questions answered. I’m glad I waited, hematology told me that, unless I feel symptomatic again, it’s unnecessary for me to receive any more transfusions. Woohoo
On a positive note, looks like I may go home tomorrow.
Hospitalized
Listen lady, you’ve probably noticed that I was a little absent last week from blogging. Since the insurance company hasn’t spent enough money already, i decided it was time to spend the majority of the week in the hospital. I know, you’re jealous. You see lady, my spleen has gotten significantly worse, both in size and pain.
I had to start taking pain killers again just to get through the day. Even then, the Percocet wasn’t always cutting it. I avoided going to the emergency room over the weekend, figuring all the crazy people who shoot each other and the ones who turn into werewolves go Saturday nights.
I tried to suck it up into Monday morning
and get an appointment with my primary care but the pain was beginning to radiate in my back and also up into my left shoulder.
I finally threw in the towel. Then we sat in the emergency waiting room for 12 hours. TWELVE. Thats almost 3 combined days of sleep for me people. Luckily, I had brought my lunch, so between Brett and myself, we rationed off the little food we had to keep us alive.
They finally admitted me after running some blood work and sending me for an ultrasound. They measured my spleen at 24 centimeters or about 9.5 inches; so basically somebodies foot.
I spent the next 4 days in the hospital, getting my pain under control, going for a handful more tests, figuring out a surgical plan to remove both my spleen and gallbladder.
In prep for this surgery, I was to receive a number of vaccines. I was discharged on Thursday afternoon, but by late that evening I started with chills, aches, and a high fever. I took some Tylenol and hoped that I’d feel better in the morning. Unfortunately, my luck took a turn for the worse. My fever continued to go up and we ended up taking an ambulance ride back to emergency as I was nearing passing out.
I was re-admitted on Friday night with a severe skin infection where the vaccines had been injected. AWESOME. These injections were supposed to be preventative of infection, not induce infection.
I’m still currently in the hospital; I anticipate being here up until I have the surgery. I’ve been on heavy doses of IV antibiotic drips and they seem to be helping to reduce my white blood cell count. My fever has come way down and my pain is still being managed.
So, lady. I’ll update as I can. Hopefully they will all be positive updates from here on out and my track record will improve. Until then….