Mrs. Petunia
We spent the majority of the weekend outside since it was really the first stretch of nice weather we have had for any extended period of time. Cardin loves playing outside, minus any bugs or wind. Which basically makes her the distinct replica of mommy. Listen lady, NATURE IS MY NEMESIS. I’d rather sit through grueling lectures all day than go on a nature hike.
Each year I buy a hanging plant from our local garden store and this year I decided to go with a light purple petunia. I choose this for two reasons. One, I like the color and two, it can handle full sun. Last year I made the mistake of purchasing a hanging plant that requires part shade. Halfway through the season my hanging plant looked like a withered old man.
Cardin saw me taking pictures. She insisted on being in one and saying “CHEEEESE!”
I also planted some silver mounds in the front yard as I like how they shimmer. Most likely because it distracts my attention and I can go “ooooooo……shimmery”.
I take you….
Tomorrow is our 5 year anniversary. HOLY FIVE YEARS BATMAN!
Sometimes it’s hard to imagine that so much time has passed since we stood in front of each other on a very cold day and exchanged rings. I feel that we are such different people now, than we were five years ago. Not in a negative way, but that we’ve grown so much through our shared experiences.
In the past 5 years we’ve bought, remodeled, and landscaped our house; much of which we did ourselves. It was quite the learning experience; not only about home improvement, but about patience with your spouse. I’m proud to call it our home. I love our house, it’s warm and cozy, albeit a complete disaster of toys. We know each of the rooms nooks and crannies and where the mistakes are. We know the blood, sweat, and tears we put into that house and that makes it all the better.
We’ve been through layoffs, new jobs, promotions, overtime, and extra hours at the office. They have all paid off and we have been one of the lucky few who have kept our jobs through this downtrodden economy. In fact the extra work we put in has paid off in career advancements, extra money, and even vacations. I think the fact that we struggled financially during the first year or our marriage helped carve out our future and that lead us to a great path. I’m proud that we worked through that together.
Our greatest accomplishment though hasn’t been our house or careers, but our daughter. Cardin. She changed our lives the morning of November 8, 2008. Our world revolves around this one little person. She has the ability to make the entire day a complete success with just a simple hug or smile. To watch her grow and flourish; this is the greatest gift we can be given as a couple.
Don’t be fooled though lady, it hasn’t been all roses. We’ve been through funerals and fights, we’ve suffered two heartbreaking miscarriages, but at the end of the day I know what pulls me through is the way I felt five years ago when I read my vows to Brett. The love I felt for this man, the happiness that I was able to share with friends and family that night…that’s what helps me through the times when I want to quit.
Happy Anniversary Brett. I love you.
Middle America
Brett works for the city school district so we are lucky enough to have state health benefits. It’s a good thing too, because with the way I rack up claims we’d spend all our savings on hospital bills. So far, 2011 has been a blur of one insurance claim form after another.Ā And they have been doozies too!
$1,000.00…..$6,500.00…..
Listen Lady, when I play, I play big. I even had a prescription filled the other day for my migraine medication. Apparently the medication is so fancy that no generic exists yet. The pharmacy rang up the 18 pills and the total was $463. That’s almost two car payments. That’s $25 bucks every time I pop one of those suckers in my mouth.
We are lucky that the insurance we carry covers the majority of these costs. We have had to pay very little over the past month. It is discouraging to think what others shell out to insurance companies, hospitals, and doctors offices.
If anything, I think I’ll keep Brett around just for his insurance coverage š
This requires a codename…
Cardin is hot for playgrounds lately and we have a few around our house that we can drive too, mostly at parks. Of the ones frequented, we have only found a couple that are of decent quality, but they are not close to the house and let’s face it lady, public playgrounds are like festering petri dishes of disease and scum, what with all the little delinquents that brazenly knock you over on the way to the monkey bars.
I must admit, one of my finer moments in parenting came when I taught Cardin to stand up to these rambunctious monsters and declare to them, with the best attitude I’ve seen her muster, “WATCH OUT, LITTLE!”
A couple summers ago we spent a day putting together an A-frame so that we could attach a baby swing. Cardin still loves to swing and will do so for as long as you will push her. But…she’s also developed what we refer to as the ‘mommy syndrome’. Her knack for participating in dangerous activities is growing by the day. She likes to climb up slides and balance on ledges. I’ve even found her perched atop the rafters in the garage trying out her parkour skills. Clearly she has outgrown the danger level that is the simple A-frame swing-set.
After weeks of looking and grumbling about the ridiculous prices…..I give you the new swing set, codename “WOODEN JIHADIST WEASEL!”
Please note: this is not actually setup in our backyard yet and the set does not include the guy sniffing his armpits and gauging BO level.
Before I get into the logistics of setting upĀ the WOODEN JIHADIST WEASEL (yes the caps are required for emphasis) let me divulge the smoking hot deal we obtained. We received a flyer in the mail that showed a sale going on at our local toy store. This swing set was listed as $100 off the MSRP if your brought in the flyer with the attached $100 off coupon. HOTNESS. Plus if you opened a credit card to the store you could get an extra 10% off the purchase. Seemed reasonable and it was the best deal we had found that was within our price range.
Off we went, flyer in hand. I explained to the cashier that I wanted to purchase the said swing set and had the necessary $100 off coupon. EXCEPT, when the cashier rang up the swing set, he entered the MSRP as $799, not the original $899. THEN he proceeded to take the additional $100 coupon off the $799 value. This all occurred while Cardin was standing next to me at the register drinking juice and, as expected, she started to choke, gag, and throw up. She likes to do this in public arenas. Sometimes I feel like she’s testing me just see how my nerves hold up. I believe she secretly plots against me at night. I bet she has a whole notebook full of ideas on ways to slowly make my hair gray.
There I am, cupping my hand under Cardin’s mouth, while trying to avoid a massive scene by talking her off the ledge, and still half listening to the cashier as he reads me the terms and conditions to the credit card I’m signing up for. It was enough multitasking that I didn’t really notice the balance of the receipt until I left the store. With the savings from the newly opened credit card and coupon, the total cost put us under $700 for this behemoth. We thought we had made out pretty well.
And then we opened the boxes. Listen lady, I think there are more boards for the WOODEN JIHADIST WEASEL than there are bones in your body. We opened the boxes and just kept pulling out board after board. Normally, I’d be a happy camper to have all this wood, but….get your mind out of the gutter.
Listen Lady, this pile you see here on your right. This is just ONE pile of wood. ONE. O.N.E. Most of the boards are between one and three feet so they add up really fast.
We read a lot of reviews on this particular swing set, and all the reviewers said that the wood needs to be covered in a water sealant to really last. We had it in our mindset that we were going to do a couple coats this week before we even assembled the WOODEN JIHADIST WEASEL. We had even warned Cardin that once we got the swing set we needed to paint it before it got put together.Ā Below you can seeĀ Cardin taking an active role in helping us paint.
By golly were we very fucking wrong on the whole water sealer thing. We setup tarps, sawhorses, boxes, etc in the garage since the weather has been terrible and being outside is out of the question as of late. On Saturday we started waterproofing the first of the boards and laid them out to dry. We did as many as we could stuff into this small area without poisoning our child from sealant fumes.
And then the next 7 hours went something like this….
1 hour…boards still wet
3 hours…boards still wet
5 hours…boards still wet
7 hours…boards still wet
Me: “This is taking an awfully long time Brett, did you look at the back of the sealant can, how long does it say for drying time?”
Brett: “FORTY-EIGHT HOURS*****”
Me: “What are the asterisks for?”
Brett: “in optimal weather”
Me: “dude, its going to be September before this goes together”
Needless to say, the drying time and the weather are playing a crucial role at this point in getting WOODEN JIHADIST WEASEL to cooperate. Looks like its going to be slow going.
Screw you
Karma wasĀ a bitch yesterday.
Brett called me when he got out of work and told me he was no longer going home to cut the grass, instead he was sitting waiting for a tow truck as one of his tires had gone completely flat. AWESOME.
SinceĀ Brett would have to wait with his car, I wasĀ running pick-up duty. I left work and got to sit in construction traffic for 45 minutes before I even went 5 miles. I strongly contemplated opening my driver side door and pushing it into each and every single cone. I resisted the urge. By the time I actually got to pick up Cardin it was after 6 and she had already had something to eat.
TANGENT: this baby swing was at my mom’s house and Cardin decided toĀ become a squater.Ā It’s ridiculous that a 2 and half year old can fit into a babies swing with such ease and actually make use of it.
Brett was able to get the tire fixed instead of replacing the rubber (haha…no pun intended). I packed up Cardin’s things and we headed home….except for one minor mishap. When we came outside there was a bunny that we started chasing (yes I realize this is teaching bad behavior, I’m over it). The bunny ran away and we happily ran to the car. While I was buckling Cardin into her carseat, she starting the infamous gag/cough syndrome. Listen lady, it was all I could do to try and unbuckle the carseat harness as fast as possible. My little hands fumbling, becoming sweaty with fear of a vomit filled car.Ā
Then it happened. It spat out of her mouth and down the front of her. In spectuclar fashion, she aslo managed to get some INTO my purse which was below her feet. I did my best to catch as much as possible with my sleeve, but it was a futile task.
SOOOOO…we got out of the car, changed clothes, and then I got to try to wash out my car and carseat. Lovely end to the evening.
This morning when I left for work, the stall puke smell hit me right between the eyes. I’m really looking forward to the smell after work, especially since it has been festering in the sun for 9 hours now. I RULE.