And in Conclusion…
2011 is coming to a close and what would the year be without a recap of some of Listen Lady’s most awkwardly funny moments? I began 2011 with a few resolutions and I’m happy to report that I’ve exceeded my own expectations. I’ve blogged consistently for the year and have even been able to tackle more books than normal. Unfortunately, Brett never delivered on that midget personal assistant but there is always hope for 2012. Of course there were other big events throughout the year. Some happy, some sad; most importantly though we’ve grown closer as a family because of them all.
The beginning of the year saw a very significant birthday for Brett and while we didn’t get to celebrate Vegas style, gambling and hangovers were involved. Cardin fell in love with all things girl this year; especially princesses and we were lucky to be able to celebrate her third birthday with a trip to Disney World.
The spring months held some other milestones; Brett and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary. Five years seems impossible and yet what will I say when we hit 10 years?? My dad retired from Kodak after 33 years and we gave him a party to celebrate such a remarkable achievement.
We had a summer full of appliance repair and construction of a new swingset, complete with clubhouse. We took a very memorable weekend trip to Columbus, Ohio where Brett and I likely have pending arrest warrants for littering due to a contaminated car seat.
We moved Cardin into her big girl bedroom and even announced the addition of a new family member. We partied away at three weddings this summer and most notably, I don’t recover from alcohol consumption as quickly as my 21 year old self.
The fall held the birth of my nephew Liam and a visit to Hoboken so Aunt Christine could see this little guy. While Cardin is still in speech therapy, she’s made significant progress in a year; so much progress that we now play the quiet game. The Fall was rounded out with a trip to zooboo where Cardin taunted the animals dressed as a hamburger.
The winter months saw celebration of the holidays with family and friends. And while we were 9 cookies short of reaching our ultimate goal for cookie day, the tradition continues.
So what of 2012 you ask?
We’ll start with trying to get Cardin fully potty trained before I pop out baby Diego. We’ll likely attempt to finish the landscaping and Cardin will start Pre-School in the Fall. There is also the unfortunate event of my 30th birthday looming in 2012.
Whatever the event, I’ll be sure to keep screaming out LISTEN LADY and blogging about our ridiculousness. Wishing you all a Happy New Year, filled with only the best.
~The Listen Lady Crew
Pet Peeve or OCD??
You could say I have a number of pet peeves that border on the side of OCD. I hate wet socks, soggy bread gives me the shivers, I don’t like clutter, a dirty bathroom makes me go ballistic, I’ll slow down if you tailgate me….the list goes on folks. One of the things I’m not real particular about though is wrapping presents. The quicker the better. I’m not one for straight creases, perfect folds, or the addition of bows and ribbons. I get the whole presentation thing, but really, nobody is judging you based on your wrapping ability; they are judging based on what’s inside the present and how much it suits them.
The other night, Brett “helped” me wrap Cardin’s presents after she had fallen asleep. I use the term “helped” loosely. I’m not going to mention that he managed to finish just two presents in the time I finished eight. I’ve actually never seen him wrap a present before and I’ve been enlightened to the difference in our level of OCD over wrapping.
He claims, like most men, that he’s not a good wrapper. This is untrue, in fact he’s an excellent wrapper. His downfall is found in the OCD he has. Unlike me, he could give a rat’s ass about the pile of clutter sitting on the computer desk or the layer of dust that has collected on the toilet tank. However, awkwardly wrapped presents will sound a fury in his brain.
Listen Lady, each cut must be perfectly straight and all the creases removed from the paper before taping. Any folds must be performed with laser like precision and the wrapping paper must adhere to the gift without any air pockets. Even the piece of tape must be a particular length. For the love of god just slap some tape down and call it a day. Once he has completed the wrapping, it’s at least a 2 minute process to adhere the gift tag marker in just the right location at just the right angle. If only I had this kind of time in my day.
I suppose our brains are wired to see certain details differently but hell….if he’s going to force me to watch him eat soggy bread, then I’m going to force him to view my quickly wrapped, albeit slightly deformed, presents.
Pig Tail
Each year since getting married, Brett and I have gone to Stoke’s farm in Scottsville and cut down a Christmas tree. I’m all about the real Christmas tree; the fresh cut pine smell, the softness of the needles as you run your hand down a branch. Plus there is always bonus of thousands of pine needles strewn about the floor and sappy branches.
We have an artifical tree in our basement, but I just can’t bring myself to put it up. Perhaps, in some unconscious way, I’m just refusing to replicate my childhood memories of artificial, plastic Christmas trees; especially white ones. I realize there are advantages to the artificial tree. Easier setup, no need to freeze your butt off to acquire, and less likely to burn down your house.
Of course, artificial trees win out in terms of fiscal responsibility but where is the fun in going down to the basement to uncover a fake tree. There is something special about gathering your family and trekking out in search of the perfect tree. Tromping through a snow ridden field just so you can take that first slice through the trunk. Rigging the tree to the top of the family SUV in hopes that it won’t get ripped off on the drive home.
I’ve also made it a tradition to name our Christmas tree each year. Listen Lady, its a living object we took from nature, the least we should do is provide it a name. Some years we go for a more traditional name (Douglas) while other times we spring for a more ethnic flavor (Francisco or Sanchez). This year I decided I was going to let Cardin name the tree. After all, I do need to pass along this tradition.
At first she wanted to name the tree, baby Diego, but I nixed that idea since she has also dubbed the baby that. I thought it might get confusing; not for the baby, but for the tree. After some deep contemplative thought, she came back with the name “Pig Tail”. Thus forth, the tree for 2011 was named pig tail. I commend her for her choice; the name is both unique and yet gender neutral.
G Unit minus 9
I don’t normally bake just for the whim of baking; typically there is a reason for my collision with flour and my desire to sniff vanilla extract. The upcoming holiday season is typically my most intensive baking season and whooo boy this past weekend was a cookie making extravaganza.
Each year my extended family gathers together and we bake cut out cookies; hundreds of cut out cookies to be exact. Approximately 30 bodies cram into my mom’s kitchen each December and attempt to topple last year’s record breaking cookie day number.
The whole production is like a well oiled machine now; we hardly bump into each other as we fly through the kitchen. There are two designated bodies who are full time rollers & cutters. One person mans the oven and helps with frosting preparation. One body mans the tables where cookies are cooled and counted. We have a runner who fills the table with cookies to be frosted and returns those that are in a complete state. The remainder of us frost and sprinkle our hearts out.
In total, all the cookies are cut, baked, cooled, & frosted in about 6 hours. We outdid ourselves this year with new record of 991 cutout cookies. 
Although disappointment ensued that we were just 9 cookies short of a grand; our ultimate goal.
After a few hours of continuous frosting, your brain starts to take on a glaze like effect…so we get creative. We’ve created entire scenes of spongebob squarepants, various animals have been carved out of cookies, and one year we made the pope-mobile. Listen Lady, there is no end to the creativity.
For the most part, the real concern is attempting to make the cookie appear as though someone hasn’t blown sprinkle chunks all over it. This year however, my cousin’s girlfriend joined in the cookie making festivities and showed us all up. She spent delicate minutes on each cookie; making each one a hand crafted piece of art. I particularly enjoy her angel, however, my green tree with a yellow blob on top is pretty kick ass too!
It’s a pretty awesome holiday tradition; one that hopefully continues to grow overtime as we introduce new frosters like Cardin. We laugh and talk, the time passing quickly; and each year I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have such a close knit family.
The big guy
Each year, a week or so before Christmas, the town suits up one of their firetrucks with Christmas lights and sends it out to troll the local neighborhoods and entice children out with candy canes. Santa sits on top of the firetruck and waves to the kids as the fireman trudge onward to appease the crowds with candy.
This year we told Cardin that Santa was going to come visit her on a firetruck and her immediate question was “will he get down?” The barrage of questions concerning his proximity to her body continued for a good day and a half. She was cool with this firetruck idea, as long as Kris Kringle kept his distance.
I’m not overly surprised at this fear of Santa. He creeps the shit out of me too. Listen Lady, who needs a belt that gigantic?? When we visit the mall I steer clear of the Santa house and I think Cardin has taken a liking to do the same.
I’m all for viewing the big jolly guy from a distance, but don’t get all up in my grill. Chances are you have bad breath and I’m not really into ingesting your fake white beard.