What a difference a year makes…
The Pittsburgh Zoo has a display that shows you the heights of different species of Elephants. You can stand next to the display and take a picture. Since we visited this zoo two years in a row we stood Cardin next to the display so we could get a height difference. For how petite she is in stature, the kid is actually growing.
On the right is 2010, Cardin is 1.5 On the left is 2011, Cardin is 2.5
Unfortunately for Cardin, she’ll never reach much above the 5 foot mark. It’s a common trait among the females in our family. At this rate she should expect to stop growing sometime within the next 6 years. Shrinking begins at age 75.
Listen Lady, just be grateful you have a full head of hair. The males pass along a gene that is far worse in fate….shiny tops.
Photag in the making
We spent the weekend in Pittsburgh and I’m convincedwe have a Photag 
in the making; Cardin refused to dislodge her hands from her pretend camera for those 48 hours. She spent all day Saturday taking pictures of all her “animal friends” at the zoo. I’m all for expressing her creative energy through art, except that she was reminiscent of a Japanese tourist in that she took about 100 pictures per second. It’s a good thing this camera is pretend, but I’m glad that life is digital now, at least we won’t spend her college savings on prints.
We were also having a hell of a time trying to express to her that in order to take a picture you need to hold the camera up to your eye and look through the viewfinder….instead she’d hold the camera up to her forehead and then snap her shot. Listen Lady, that may work for cyclops, but it an’t going to fly in your future.
WHOOPEE
I know you routinely come here for to much information, but we won’t be discussing sex today so please don’t infer too much from the title. Instead I’d like to indoctrinate you into the world of whoopee cake. Behold it’s glowing white domes of magnificence, each wave delicately draped over moist chocolate cake to form a perfect combination.
This cake is so special, so difficult to make, that we are only blessed with it’s presence three times a year. My mother is the only one who can make it to perfection. She originally got the recipe from my Dad’s mother and I credit my Irish heritage for this treasure. Yesterday was my Dad’s birthday so Cardin and Mimi spent the day baking in the kitchen.
Many people would compare it to a marshmallow type frosting. It’s similar, but not quite as thick as Fluff; it’s lighter and more airy than Fluff. Most of the extended family would pass on this cake and even my husband doesn’t get the big appeal. My dad, brother, and I….well we go all Lady Gaga crazy when this cake comes out. Listen Lady, there are certain rules with this cake.
1) this becomes breakfast food after a birthday party
2) corner pieces are reserved for us because they have more frosting
3) plates must be licked of excess frosting
4) waste is unacceptable
PEMDAS my ass
A month ago we noticed that the bathroom window was starting to rot on one of the corners. We had previously replaced the front living room picture window with a local company so we called them back up and they came out and gave us a quote for replacing the bathroom window, which included a 22% discount. Fancy that…I didn’t even need a coupon.
We signed a contract and not a week later we got a piece of mail from the window company stating that if you had been a previous customer, they were willing to offer up to an additional 10% off if you signed a contract to do work by the end of June. FML. I called up the sales guy and kindly reminded him that we were a previous customer and oh….remember when I asked if this was the best you could do on the price and you told me “ABSOLUTELY”. Turns out there was more wiggle room. I just needed to go in and sign an addendum to get that additional 8% to boost me to the full 30% off.
Before I left to sign the addendum, I thought it would be of utmost importance to determine a rough number for this additional percentage that should be deducted. Except for one minor detail. I don’t excel when it comes to math equations. And when I say I don’t excel, I really mean that my brain shuts down and I go into paraplegic shock when numbers are involved; hence the reason i WRITE a blog with LETTERS!!! I’ve never liked math, throughout school I sorta just satiated my teachers with long equations and lots of scribbling. Anything involving an equation was excellent because I could elaborate that by writing out all my work and making it look as though I really knew what I was doing; I was notorious for this in statistics. TRICKS OF THE TRADE MY FRIEND. Another tip…counting with your fingers. Don’t be ashamed, it’s a perfectly acceptable form of validation; especially when you have been up till 2 am and the can of Blue Light is half empty.
I digress Internet. Brett never misses an opportunity to point out my misgivings in math (thanks hon) so he was assisting me in determining the amount of money we could expect to receive off from the window company. As he was doing so he was using some convoluted math style that did not follow the rules of PEMDAS. Some of you may not know it as PEMDAS, but instead know it by “Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally”. 
It is the order in which you solve an algebraic equation; that is, parenthesis, exponents, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction.
I was so kindly taught these strict algebraic rules by an oompa-loompa sized man we referred to as Mr. Vogler who sported one hell of a mustache. The man sucked down 50 cups of coffee a day and drove off campus to smoke cigarettes like a chimney. I imagine that he was never “teacher of the year” and that many of his co-workers avoided him. The man could holler up a storm and he was militant in his use of PEMDAS.
When I pointed out to Brett that he was not using PEMDAS to figure out this problem he brushed me off as though it was irrelevant. LISTEN LADY, both your parents are MATH TEACHERS, they should have taught you the strict militant rule of PEMDAS. Division was occurring before multiplication, percent signs were being thrown about with wild abandon, ALL HELL WAS BREAKING LOOSE. We went on for a good 15 minutes over this lax use of PEMDAS; I was completely discouraged by standards that Hilton was placing on their students if they are so easily throwing Aunt Sally out with the Sunday trash.
Double Fisting
Last night Cardin learned the art of double fisting. It was one of those magical moments you hear about as a parent; where you get all misty eyed over how proud you are of your kid. Fast forward fifteen years and she is going to dominate in college.
